War of the Worlds

Ticket To Cruze !

2011-12-25T16:17:00.019Z

Its 4:00 pm, Its been a straight 20 hours that I haven't slept. 1st semester came to an end day before yesterday.There is one more sem and a dissertation to go before the MBA in Engineering Management is finito. I ve finished all my course works, heck I am ahead of time but still I can’t get sleep. I want to start working on the 2nd Sem right away, this very moment. Just want to get everything over and done with like click click click. This has got everything to do with what happened in Mumbai during the May to October vacation.

I told my dad that I will buy ourselves the new Swift that was recently launched. I already have got a job in Mahindra for which I took the interview during vacations. I knew I could pull the new Swift off on my own. Imagine gifting your parents a new car from your own money. EPIC feeling. We booked the new Swift Diesel even though we own a Swift diesel right now. It would take one year arounds for it to get delivered as half of India had booked it, worked for me as I was getting back in August and would have enough time till september october to collect the money. Dad did not agree on buying one more Swift and just to prove his point he took me to one of the Chevrolet showrooms which was near the Mumbai - Pune expressway. He asked me to wait out and in a minute he came out with a sales man and keys for an Automatic Chevrolet Cruze, white shining, we went for a test drive.

The sales man kept blabbing about the features, Dad told him to shut up as all we cared about was ‘how fast it goes’. On the expressway dad asked me to jam the accelerator down and not let it go till we have maxed the speedometer out. My man had lost it was the thought that ran in my head. As soon the pedal touched the metal, the autobox shifted from 6th to 3rd at 80kmph and it was like a meteorite had stuck the rear of the car. The turbo kick was so ferocious it could break someone's neck if not careful. 140 came even before I caught a breath, as the gears shifted at lightning speed the turbo released a loud psssssssssttttt. It was the most awesome tune I had EVER ever heard. 180 came and went like it was a minor milestone. At 200 the lines on the expressway started going in the opposite direction. I remembered this sight, had seen it once when the Swift had touched 195 on the expressway for a nano second and then went back to her 185 kmph top speed immediately.

The vision started getting narrower and life started to feel a whole lot more beautiful. She was still accelerating and finally maxed out at 233 kmph. At these speeds the other cars on the expressway looked like they were standing still although even they were going upward of 150. The feeling of being unbeatable set it. Those 20 seconds at 233 kmph reruns 100 times in my head everyday and I still don't get bored.

Took a U turn and went back to the showroom. As soon as we got out, Dad smiled ‘Still want the new Swift’ ? My legs and hands were shaking from the adrelinine rush they had been through. Of course I dint want the new Swift anymore, but I could not afford 18 lakhs by next year too. The 185 kmph of the Swift did not seem exciting any more. Rest of the vacation I would let it touch 185 with one hand on the steering and the other hand rested on the window and planted to my head like it was a boring everyday ritual. I graduated from 131kmph of the 800 to the 155 of the Zen and now roll at 185 kmph of the Swift. Life HAD TO HAD move on to higher altitudes. Living only had a meaning if we knew what we were living for and speed and cars is what I was working hard for. I wanted a high paying job just so that I could keep on buying faster cars year over year. The meaning of being alive had finally been found.

We planned to buy the cruze by 2013 end and that was the time I had to collect those 18 lakhs, it seemed like a huge target to be set when I still had an MBA to go. I needed to see that 233 kmph again and I needed to see it twice a week atleast. A MBA had to be done, engineering alone won’t get me there faster. I need to get this thing soon, My dad wanted me to get married and go on an all India drive in the Cruze with my wife, he wanted Mom to be driven around in this, he wanted to go out with his friends in this. Heck I wanted this more than anything in life.

Whenever I closed my eyes I could see the scene of the blurred vision and lines of the expressway going backward flashing in front of my eyes. Still gives me sleepless nights when I consciously think about it. The chill down the spine remains for days. There is a point in life when you want to stop racing with those Optra’s and Laura’s on the expressway. You want to grow up and Cannonball some BMW/Mercedes headlight with black diesel soot. This was a perfect tool to cause a holocaust on the highway. With this target set, all that tiredness of Engineering vanished and I was all set to leave Mumbai again and finish the MBA in a little less than a year.

It seemed like an inspiration to get my butt out of bed in the sub zero temperature and go university, a perfect brainwave to get a distinction in MBA and that’s what kept me going and going through all these months of 1st sem and finally when the results were out all the ‘looking forward’ for the Cruze paid off. I got a Distinction. Got highest grades in 2 subjects in the class too. The thirst for getting the car was helping the scores.

Now 2nd sem, dissertation and some more distinctions will make the Cruze come as near as ever. August 2012 will be the month of coming back to Inda forever. 18 lakhs will just be a number, with the job I've got in India and brilliant grades, I am sure I can make that come and go in no time. Mom, Dad will finally feel their son has grown up. What more can anyone ask for ? This dream remains come hell or highwater. The Cruze is coming home soon. PERIOD

Before I left my mom asked me, will you like the swift any less after we get the Cruze ? I asked her will I like you any less after I get married and have a wife ? She got the drift and I got the answer to the question which I never really asked myself. The Swift will always be special and the Cruze will just be a new addition to our family whom we’ll end up liking as much as we like the Swift, maybe even racing them together once in a while. The Swift won’t win but I ll be a treat to watch two of the most loved one's in our life ride together.

Anna and me will end up recording a lot more racing video’s on the expressway, We ll end up doing photoshoots of the car every weekend like we did of the Swift during the 4 month vacation in India. So much to look forward to. Things can’t get more brilliant than this. Everything just seems like a perfect setup for a comeback. By then maybe I ll have someone whom i ll want to call and say 'Hey, Cruze, reclamation, you and me, what say ?

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Sapne woh nahi joh hume sote hue dikhe, sapne woh hai joh hume raat ko sone na de - A P J Abdul Kalam

Burn Notice !

2011-06-20T21:28:00.006+01:00

My Neighbour asked me to baby sit his daughter who is a 4 year old for a few hours till his wife and him went around with their weekly shopping. Not knowing how to keep her

entertained

I decided to teach her my kind of ABCD as A for Apple and B for Ball seemed kinda seemed like A for Adam, O for Old, S for sucks and F for Flintstone.

Made up this chart to make sure she jazz when she's old

and rolls with her mates.

A for Altis

B for Budweiser

C for Curtis Jackson
D for Daimler
E for Etios
F for Ferrari
G for Grande Punto
H for Hyundai
I for Intercooler
J for Jagermeister
K for Kingfisher
L for Laura
M for Metallica
N for Nissan
O for Otto Cycle
P for Porsche
Q for Quit the 800
R for Race your car
S for Swift and Suzuki
T for Turbo
U for Uno
V for Vauxhall
W for Window Shopper
X for Xylo
Y for Yamaha

Z for Zen

After I was done with this ultimate lesson of her life and managed to keep her occupied for a few hours before her parents turned up and I made her recite whatever she could remember out of her new education. Flabbergasted they came to a conclusion that I was not someone they would be trusting their daughter with and prayed they could undo the damage I had done before she gets thrown out of school.

I begged to differ. I reckoned she would make her teachers proud by being different. Anyway a Burn Notice was issued on my name and their daughter was instructed to play with my mom and come near me only if I had a bandage on my vocal cords. So much for preparing their babe to be a rock star of tomorrow. Sigh

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Dont you know the lengths I will go, to be understood by your dad - Brad Sucks

Back Again !

2011-01-02T01:39:00.034Z

Those days will come,

When the roads will open,

For my ride,

Times will change,

I ll run someday,

By my side.

Back again

I’ ll win,

Back again,

I ll grin,

Back again

I ll play,

Back again

I ll be my day.

The haters will scram,

The world would applaud,

Today may be a new divide,

One day I’ll be my war,

With bombs and bullets,

By my side.

Back again

I ll be someday,

Back again,

I ll have my way,

Back again,

I ll run the show,

Back again,

I ll grow,

Those days will come,

Sea’s will change

Today may not be my tide,

But I ll run someday,

By my side.

Back again

By my side !

Thanks for the inspiration, you know who you are :)

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Saap jaisi kaali raatein...hai zeher si yeh zindagi..kaha chali
gayi hai saali khushi ? - Dev D

Why Atheist ?

2010-10-16T10:20:00.041+01:00

1) Life main upar jane ke liye God nahi, Keeda mangta hai !

2)The temple is half an hour walk from our house. :|

3) I got no car in UK as yet :|

4) The day I forget my jumper to uni, it suddenly transforms into minus 2

5) Aerodynamics is still tough, SCREW YOU COVENTRY :|

6) Hate maths but still have to do calculations raised to N.

7) Rajnikanth can count till infinity but my Uni Prof's have a beef

grading my papers for anything more than 70% :|

8) A pint of beer is 3 quid in the club.WTH? Mallya ? Listening?

9) I gulp 2 shots and I am chatting shit, the world is downing 5

large’s and still making sense :|

10) I was made to wait for 4 years for that white Swift D and then

some rick dick bangs it right when it was only 2 months old.

11) There aint no Jay Badamwala in UK, have to be scared of 8

feet Nigga’s who look like Gi Joe's with a vest and a cap.

12) I still love the ciggi filled lip to lip respiration of 4000 chemical

kiss the best..STILL :|

13) Curvy girls do it better, only a dog wants a bone but still everyone

is into becoming toothpicks. *DIVINE INTERVENTION ALERT*

14) My laptop fell from the desk and looks like Crazy frog from

one side.

15) When someone pisses me off I go on a long one..X-(

16) I am always stuck between ‘should I’ or ‘should I not’,

I like her..DO I ? OR DO I NOT?

17) 99% of the Mulla’s are against Israel...._!_ IRAN.
Ham Israel Hay \m/

18) Am called a Paki sometimes. PAKI YOUR MOM you racist twats.

19) Humko Tumse Pyaar Hai is still my favourite song and am vocal

about it too :O IMAGINE

20) A UK driving licence cost upward of 200 pounds ( The major

reason for ringing the atheism bell )

21) May is taking a piss to come, AGAIN !

22) True friends stab you in the front, real friends are either made

of steel or alcohol. Icing, we are programmed as social animals.

SICK BASTARD !

23) Have been wanting to covert from a Non Reacting Indian to a

Nonsense Reacting Indian for long but sigh. Dracula's can convert

into X-Men's, Day Walkers, Wolves and even a Blade but a human

cannot even get a software upgrade. BULLSHIT !

24)Mr Invisible has not shown himself yet, Dunno how long is he

gonna scoot around with yo moi Mr India, you can’t see me jingo.

Mogambo too want’s an out from these bracelet missions.

25) He has not sorted any of the above.

26) He neither could stop me from posting this shit :P

27) Cheers mate :D was j/k j/k, don’t take it personally :P

28)====---Ganpati Bappa Moriya---====:P:P

Of all of the inventions by man, the greatest ever has
been GOD. He can pass you in exams, buy you cars,
get you beer bla bla. Everything is done by him and
humans are humanly incapable of getting anything
done on their own :P duh !

On a lighter note ever wondered what religion are
animals and what kind of imaginary friend do they
believe in ? :P I see most of them having their
grass on time even without thanking thou dude :P

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We are having too good a time today, we ain't thinking about tomorrow

- Public Enemies

Beautiful Nightmare !

2010-06-01T12:01:00.023+01:00

Wherever I go,

Whatever I do

Its surround sound,

Its only you.

Whatever I think,

Whenever I blink,

A fenced ground,

Your presence around

Whenever I sleep,

Whatever I drink,

A beautiful nightmare,

Your eyes, your flair

Whatever i try,

Whenever I sigh,

The same salty stream,

With an embroidered theme.

Whenever I walk

Whoever I talk,

The same old shit,

Life, you little prick.

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Dil toh baccha hai ji..thoda kaccha hai ji - Ishqiya

Mayhem To Mongolia !

2010-04-13T12:55:00.103+01:00

Many Many years ago, when I was an unborn terror me dad had
this dream of driving down from India to London in a car.
AIN'T NO TYPO. INDIA TO LONDON, YEAH but he never could.
Priorities, wife, business, X, Y, Zee and than me. Now at 55,
he can only dream of this havoc, but sharing the same genes,
had a similar bright idea since was 5.

A cross country trip between continents, countries, around half
the world in a car. Landing in UK for engineering slowly made
all the pieces of the puzzle come together. This is destiny’s way
of making sure that I don’t grow old to regret. Mongol Rally
came into my life, it made sure that I had something to look
forward to other than books and a shitty job. Started planning,
day dreaming, e-mailing people, getting into the technicalities
and finally finding someone who was as suicidal to participate

together as a team mate..

IMAGINE passing through 15 to 17 countries, Imagine driving through
Kyrgyzstan, Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan etc to name a
few, some of these have no resemblance of a civilisation, some have
no roads, barren deserts, some plagued with civil war and most which
have terrorism as a way of life .

Freezing in Ukraine, sipping vodka with the Russian's, downing
cognac with the Kazak's, inhaling chillam's with the Uzbek's
and finally beer with the Mongol's.
My Life be Like Ooo Aaah !!!

YOU KNOW the distance of the rally is greater than what the
miles between UK to India is. 16 thousand kilometres of pure
crouching kitten, hidden hippo kinda adventure \m/

Doing this might be a one way ticket to hell, maybe break hands,
legs, get shot at, but maybe's in life are always more of a positive
than a dud. To make it even more difficult the rules of the rally
state that you have to participate in a small Maruti Zen or Santro
type small ‘hatch back’ or anything which is less than 1200 cc,
which in short means 'tighten the nada of your pyjamas' as this
aint going to be easy in wheels which are totally todally unsuitable
for the grim task ahead, but anyway life without excitement is a
waste of oxygen!!!

London To Mongolia, We'r on, Like Donkey Kong. Screw the peril.
Paid 200 pounds as a deposit to register for the rally. A secret
parents don’t know and won’t know till the D day is near my nose.
July 2011. Time to go still, a car to buy.

Told dad about the rally just as a passing conversation over the
phone and his instant reaction.
‘ Aava sapna pan nai joto’ :P

My man does not know that am already on it, making ends meet to
be among the group of people who are as inclined to test life as i've
always been. Sorry Dad, I don’t take 'NO' for an answer :P

There is something called as 'the edge'. A picture with the car and
me standing next to a board which reads ‘Ulanbaatar, Mongolia’ is

a fantasy going to be conquered by hook or crook. By crook would

be to just photoshop one, but that’s one sad idea sirji!

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Just living my life..hey a hey a hey a..my life..my life my life..just living
my life - Rihaana

Total Memory Loss!

2010-03-30T11:01:00.024+01:00

Four Pints of Carling,

Has a rather revolutionary effect,

The night turns out to be,

Not what you expect,

Wish for your dream girl,

To walk into the car,

She din come, what the hell

Let’s have another Jar.

Tomorrow is another day,

There’s no point complaining,

It can’t get any worse,

As long as beer's reigning.

Down one coz you remember,

Down two to forget,

Down three for the one you lost,

Down four for the one you ain’t met,

Blaze a zoot, Take a Toss

Cheesy chips, peanut and sauce,

Life’s a bitch, so go for it

Total Memory Loss

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure

the operations of life. We gulp, rock n roll,

chill, merry and just move on with whatever

life throws at us with a grin.

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Staying alive..aah aah aah aah...staying alive...staying alive

You know staying alive ? - Alvin and The Chipmunks

Ronny I Hardly Knew Ya !!

2010-03-14T11:49:00.029Z

I, A straight face,

Like a wall, a tree,

Inside it’s all a whirlpool,

Of love, confusion, disagree!

You don’t know the real Mr Sure,

It’s been long he’s even met Me!

I, A wild child,

Like a firefly, carefree,

Jamming, singing in my world,

On a mission, living spree.

You should try how it feels to be,

Moving, Grooving like a retarded Me!

I, A Dream machine,

Anarchy, freedom at my sea,

An Idea, fairy tale!

Of faith, friends, my century,

You should imagine how it’s like to be,

Inventing an illusion inside Me!

I, An Evil Side,

Like a Hyena, Hungry!

Hate, Retaliate the Vile,

Bring it down to its knee.

Be a killer or let the hunter be

Made my choice, but thats just ME!

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Guns and Drums and Drums and Guns..Hurroo Huroo - Dropkick Murphys

Drag Me To Hell !!

2010-01-31T01:00:00.201Z

YOU KNOW, I love the history of religion and the idea of 'Hell' got
me mind thinking!

I bet its one big party, with Kegs, Beer, Paneer Tikka, Gudam
Garam, Heavy metal and the likes and I bet Satan is a really
nice guy.

Think about it.

You Sin against "God" and denounce 'Jesus' 'Allah', 'Shankar',
'Ehsaan' 'Loy', 'Hanuman' and the types, also you do these
terrible things like raid, pillage, plunder, murder, rape and pilfer
your guts out and so you are sent to Hell !

WHY WOULD SATAN PUNISH you for doing the same
thing he’s tryin to do himself ??

He HATES God, he's at total war with that guy !!
If you end up in hell obviously have done something bad.
Satan will greet you with some beer and say "Man, you are
so cool, helping me out and shit, here's a Heineken, Cheers!"

Hell is one cool place, with pool tables, Spa's, Sauna's and also
Bars that you don't get kicked out from along with all the hot
bitches you can ever think about.
But but you cant be sent to hell until you have decimated your

life. Do deeds now, pay later kinda credit card system. * Sigh *

Where as in Heaven, you can't swear, cant have wicked thoughts,

no sex, you can't do SHIT without pissing off God and rest of the
Holy Moly’s!! Where as in hell you don't get tired, Ciggis never run

out movies always release when you want them to, porn at free will,

you never sleep too but you can with the females if you want to

which is an awesome thing. :P

Operator: Press # key to buy weed *Vive la Afghanistan* \m/

Good thing I denounced religion, therefore I have sinned and

cast myself into eternal party mode! * Pat me on that *

Dont stop taking drugs cuz they,

Got you flying, forgetting yesterday,

Maybe its crazy, keep getting stoned while you can,

Oh Baby in the lords hands,

You can be whatever you want when your high,

Walk slowly with a spirit by your side, Oh baby,

Dont fear if you lose your mind,

Say how u doing', boy i am feeling fine,

...When something carries me away..hey hey hey hey...

*Tears Of Happiness*

*Hysteria, Headbanging, Bottoms Up*

If God ‘DID’ exist, we would go to Heaven coz we are evil,
so that he can punish us himself and not go ahead and put

us with a party king who would recruit such dope heads

for his own brigade of destruction.

Better to
reign in

Hell than

serve in
Heaven

Why walk on the stairway to Mr Rule Book when you can drive

down the highway to the Dark Knight ?I implore you to JOIN US!

Leave behind the confines of your manufactured religions that

blind you and deny you the malted truth. Crack open a beer,

down it, crack open another, down that one too ! Drink to

your heart's content. Let the alcohol rid you of all worries

and lead you down new paths of enlightenment.

Satan does it, so should you AND should you over do it,

have faith, Satan shall be too drunk to know who messed

his yard up..DOH!

Butt in and lets have a TIME OF A DEAD TIME !!

Ps: Posers, Wankers, Delusional Retards, Druggies, Gangsta Niggas's

will be given first preference based on experience.

Anyhoo seeya at the do..

- All Mighty Recruiters \m/ ( No Branches )

Next time someone disses you to "GO TO HELL", jump out

of joy and get ready to let the dogs out!

Bhooo bhooo !!

And if you are worried that by commenting on these 'con'cepts

of Mr Supreme’s jurisdictions you might just offend him,

then well...tough shit, he gets offended, What can you do ?

PS: This mockery wont stop yours truely from staring above

with a puppy look and asking Captain Planet to pass him in

Solid Mechanics or maybe Advance Vehicle Systems..;)

Maybe the invigilator and my man work like a crew,

though very unlikely but hey life is all about taking

and giving chances eh ;)

Cheers and ‘God Speed’

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I ll give you black sensations up and down your spine, If you're evil you're a

friend of mine - AC / DC

Sunshine !

2009-12-22T11:17:00.087Z

I wish you so fly,
That u wake up in the sky,
And wipe the cloud outta your eye!

Yes, we are gonna celebrate your birthday every year,
Yep, don’t be ula la la’d. Just because your name is not

on the rationing card/voters id does not mean your not

family :P

Gift ? Skirts, Spoilers and extra muscle :D The thirteen

hundred cubic centimetres of passion will be on steroids

courtesy Great Britain :P Better, Faster, Stronger !!

NOTHING CAN EVER COME CLOSE TO WHAT U MEAN TO ME,

The reason for all the times, the reason for all the smiles, the reason

why my world went round round and round. The 9 months that we

spent together keep firing in my head. I see a lot of your twin

brothers here and always have an excited ‘LOOK SWIFT’ reaction

which makes people wonder what's with this Indian getting his

tongue out over a Suzuki !

Your back, your eyes, your lips, your highs.Damn Damn Damn !!!

Wherever on planet earth we shift, if we shift, you are coming

along. PERIOD. Bro's before Hoe's anyday !

Mom told me that Dad had the turbo purring only 3 times in the

last month, she also said that she giggles everytime she sees the
“Objects in the rear view mirror..quickly disappear" tagline behind

as they almost always disappear in the front.. :(..I know I know :(

Down with Daddy Hamilton :|

Come May 2010

Do u think about me now and then ??

Now i am comming home again,

Maybe we can start again !!

Yayayayay comin home again !!

We ll be ripping up to Reclamation everyday, The turn there

will witness a reuninon of good times, Headbanging, The Berlin

Philharmonic Orchestra and Scorpions blasting Rock U Like A

Hurricane, universe around just passes away, speedo see's

triple digits, tacho touches the sky, change gears and get the

phhhsttt phsstttt from the turbo, MAN, Nothing else would

matter then, no past, no future. Just the moment.

Life is simple, Eat, Drink, Swift. The world can seize to exist

after i ve done all of this a gazillion raised to million times!!!

We ll make anything and everything disappear behind, I PROMISE

We ll terrorise Goa, Lonavala and Mahabaleshwar like it was our
second hood, Conquer uncharted territories, RACE RACE RACE
We ll do all the things that we did and also missions we planned
but could not bounce because of parental guidance :P

Until death do us part.

Go For Launch ! !

T minus 5 months, Timer Starts, Till then, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEXY !!

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You spin me right round baby right round, like a record baby round round

round round - Dead or Alive

Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind !

2009-10-23T11:05:00.076+01:00

Saturday, Sunday ! UK is closeeeeeeeddd !! closed to the extent

that u can get a bulldozer and raze the entire street, destroy

peoples property but they wont do jack, Call a chinese

'Yo Chinx' and he would not care, WHY? Because they are on a

ruddy holiday,'no work days' are totally fanatically adhered to!

So sitting in the room and nothing better to do i open my blog,
and start reading from the new stuff towards the old and realise

what a bloody ultimate pussy I was !!

I wrote poems on how sad i felt, how my mental state kept going
from Europe to Africa in no time, how i hated some bitches but
passed on the message subtly through my blog, how i kept
taking everything in a positive manner when black and white

was right in front of me, how i kept reliving in the past like

an old tape recorder which only played 'sob sob' kinda bull,

wrote shit on how God took revenge on my behalf but still

how much of a nice guy i was to feel ‘oh so bad’ about it,

even classified newton, timberlake and captain planet as

terminators. Class A dickhead :|

Thinking about it now I am in splits, no no don’t get me wrong,

revenge was brilliant but ‘feeling sad about it’ ?
LOL ! _!_ feel great about it, infact get the swords out again!
KOS all the Nigga's n burn their gaystation too. Holla me if u

need multiplayer help.

And and was I into 0-800-Helpline or what when they were too

dang buried manipulating shit and taking you for a royal circus !

"Oh if u need any help, let me know..oh i'll always be there

for you" Doofus raised to N

U ll need more help if u let me know what u need help for ! x-(

Meant it then but now after sales service is out!

Should have might as well made a community of

'Ronny's social service' on orkut and started posting there,

RETARD ! :

If u don’t get treated the way u have to be, get pushed

beyond a limit, get taken for granted, get cheated on

CROSS their name N let them stop existing for thee,

Also if someone is feeding you statements like
‘Oh i have to resist you, U DONT GET WHY ? because I

still like u, u wont understand and X, Y and FUCKING Z ’.

Bullfhit, Consider it as no more than some chinese gibberish you
heard on the way to Uni. I am nice 'was' a fact and ' I dont take

shit' IS a fact. Period

E-mail microsoft and ask them to design an option where in such

crap gets directly unloaded to the recycle bin even without touching

the hard disc for the idea of not spreading the ‘ying yang’ virus !

INFACT IT SHOULD NOT EVEN COMPUTE FOR YOU !

Life is too short to be mopping over someone who has a heart

wired with IED's and artillery guns.

“Yaar Nazar nahi aaata, Ghar baar nazar nahi aata, Sansaar Nazar
nahi aata, Jab pyaar hota hai” !

Please please for petes sake tel me u ll get your cataract operated

before your THE last words are. 'Ab Bacha kya'?, Moron :|

No one should rule our mind except OUR MIND, PERIOD !

Ignorance is not only bliss its healthy, wealthy and wise too

along with keeps the doctor away :P

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Forever is over and my hearts not gonna break, your power is fading away

and i am getting closer to the place I belong - Saturdays

Welcome To A Good Life!!

2009-10-11T09:56:00.044+01:00

The flight is standing on the runway, Looking at Mumbai for the

final time, wont be getting a walk of it for months to come.

Rewind Select: On the final ramp to the airport, Bombay behind,
part 2 ahead, new adventures, new country, new brand of beer,
new bandstands :P

Fast Forward: The 747 engine wakes up, nails u back in the seat,
its galloping on the runway. All the years u spent in Mumbai are

surging past ur eyes, friends, fights, swift, mom, dad, reclamation,

beers, 140's. Its like you are leaving a part of you, u want the plane

to stop, u want everything to stop, u just want your old life back,
U just want to go home and chill.

A new start at 23. Seems like a dream, wait it could be a nightmare
too. Whatever, I cant decide

Suddenly someones phone rings

Out of town, put it down for the father of rap,

And if yo' ass gets cracked, bitch shut yo' trap,

Come back, get back, that's the part of success,

If you believe in X you'll be relievin your stress!

*Nods head*

God impersonating Snoop Dogg, savvy savvy !

*Scratches head, HOW ? *

*BANG, on it again*

Hold up, heyyyyyy

for my niggaz who be thinkin we soft

We don't caaareeee

We gon' rock it till the wheels fall off

Hold up, heyyyyyy

for my niggaz who be acting too bold,

Take a, seeeeaaaaattt

Hope you ready for the next episode

HeyyyeyyyeEyeyeyeyeeye...

*Silence before the storm*

SMOKE WEED EVERDAY !!!!

Phew ,Comprende monsieur.

Present Tense: 5 days in Uk, 200 miles of nailing the BMW 3 series,

2 days of college and i already know that ‘Goris are super easy,
dumb too but fun, internet is as fast as you are sitting on the
hathway dish and surfing, all indian chickos have the ajay
devgan side partition with hair from one side falling on
their forehead, there are no conductors on the bus, every

asian is a paki, 4 degrees + rains on your skin can make you

realise the actual meaning of 'Sawan main lag gayi aag :P',

pizza hut does not deliver pizzas for free, 99% of pubs here

play only R & B and hip hop, water is more expensive than

beer sometimes, Achija type pav bhaji can get u bankrupt,

Focking awesome is spelt as ‘fucking awesome’, arright che ?

is a gujju greeting morning, evening and night and lastly

smooching, kissing and caressing in public is perfectly normal

and never stared upon !

Some things simply different, some differently simple, most bold

goris and some desi choris, different accent with apnapan,

videshi rum, mixed with desipan.

Bottom line: I am having fun!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling, Infesting in your kids ear and nesting, TESTING, ATTENTION PLEASE - Eminem

Times....

2009-09-18T21:56:00.015+01:00

Times when I am not sure,
Cant think of a cure,
Blank, out of order, unaware,
I, me please spare !

Times when I genuinely hate,
Later, get into a debate,
Curse, shun, err,
Face it, Life’s not fair !

Times when I feel the kick,
Still, I am not weak,
Silence, stare, beware,
Vengeance, maybe in the air!

Times when I really want,
Abruptly, retarded is the thought,
Unwanted, error, declare
Whatever, I don’t care !

Times when I crave to believe,
Definite dilemma up my sleeve,
Cannot, will not, repair,
My life, plain and square !

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doubt' ll be the fire of your delight, but you're never gonna come back down - Gone in 60 seconds

Paging Dr.Faggot !

2009-07-28T07:52:00.024+01:00

A: From tomorrow u ll be plagued with ‘marriage is suffocating
my brains’ syndrome
B: Yes, my I.Q. is going to be on ‘haaji, as you say madamji’ mode.

I don’t get guys, 99% of them are so scared of the word marriage
that whenever mentioned they run in the opposite direction like

their tail’s on fire.

A girlfriend asking for commitment always gets a

‘saali ki maa ki aakh’ kind of reaction and sometimes

its vice versa too!:P..

Being a bachelor is a freedom in itself, a licence to kill
and not have to answer anyone except maybe your
mom on ‘whats that mark on your neck? :P

Why do guys say ‘ girlfriend and wives are 2 different things
and 2 different people’ For a girlfriend they ll want a oh so

hot, oh so sexy and oh so desperate female And for a wife a

‘yeah ok, can she cook' kinda question mark.
Mowgli Junglee in modern avatars guys these days!

Imagine waiting to get out of your work place to be with
your wife and haaji u really look forward to this moment,

Going to bandstand and cheering onto beer together

(She can be the designated drunk driver) , Driving down

to Ladakh, Leh just because she thinks trains and planes

are not adventurous enough, Going to pubs and headbanging

together, You know you look your absolute worst today but

still she says' whats up sexy' :P Plans of naming our kids

dashboard29, mudslinger, Revmaster, hotwheels bla bla :P,

Gets along with my mom/dad like they were her own, even

doing the dishes together would be fun.

Perfect Cpu and monitor ki jodi, someone who does not
care about makeup while gettin wet in the rain, someone
who does not behave like 'i want attention' lala land female,
someone who would love sitting in a maruti 800 as much as

a merc with the idea being the 'company' and 'not the car',

cute and sweet in her own ways..
and YES
GOD don’t run no bingo if u hook up with someone who is out
there just for your money and looks, in that case neglect most
of the above and find a drunkard friend to sulk with all your

life. You will never hear or feel what a real marriage is.

A vicious cycle wherein demand and supply of retards and
materialistic weasels are in complete tandem. India is planning
a national id card system for its every citizen, I suggest there

should be a criteria where in a persons nature be mentioned too.

For example: Nature: Player, pimp, will date anyone, desperate,
5 faced, fickle, bi- curious, will fuck a dog if needed bla bla bla bla !
We should welcome the calendar to the 21st century and its
inhabitants to the 25th century.
Spared the rod, spoiled the child!

As for me, I cannot be the only retard who thinks life can
be a fairytale too. Someday, someone will say “haila tu bhi’..
*MUSIC* Ta Taara ra Taara Neal N Nikki :P
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Who let the dogs out...who who who who who ? - Baha Men

Aatma Ne Nai Maarvanu!

2009-06-03T08:54:00.022+01:00

Many a times we kill our ‘aatma’ so as to distinguish
between the right and wrong, good and bad, moral
from immoral ! In this fight, we are actually forgoing
what we want to do, what we like doing, what our heart
wishes to do !

So at this moment what should we do ?
Put rationality, righteous element of our brain
on quarantine and go ahead and do what the
red matter wants !

Oh I had a pint of beer yesterday, oh I cant think
about one for 10 days ! WHY? U feel like having it
the right next day, GO AHEAD! Its beer not poison!
And yes as they say 'Dont drink and drive'
Yep yep I wont, but nobody said nothing about
'Drinking while driving'. I love loopholes! :P

Feel like going on a drive to Lonavala, you ask your
friends, Yo I am busy, oh I have work!
Girlfriend, Honey, Periods :( ...!
Like the Budweiser advert, say ‘ WASAAAAAAAAAAAAAUP’
to the car and scoot !
Carlos wont descend on you while you are alone!

2 day stubble has outgrown into a 10 day monster,
Need a haircut too, Everyone think you look like
Tarzan but you think you look like Tom Cruise!
Well ‘you are right’! Your 'aatma' says u look good,
so good it is PERIOD!

If you think someone is boring and your inner
desire wishes to convey the same, DON’T KILL IT !
Dont act like no Somalia niggas and pull the gun
right in the face, ‘I need a Disprine every hour
I am with you’ should do the trick
Of course with a smile !! ;)

Hostel, Saw, Cannibal Hollocaust all make you puke,
you end up wasting the sandwich you just ate in the
wash basin because the utter gore tickles your stomach,
you get sleepless nights too, but u love watching such
movies even though u pause it a 100 times in between
because the ‘brilliant leg, hand, bum, dick hacks’
in the movie disgust the shit outta you!
Watch it anyway because you want to!
Repurcations be damned!

Its raining water tankers outside, Rain gods have made
mumbai a swimming pool of India, Flu, Malaria,
whateverya is on the rise! Mom says ‘No outside food’
Dad says ‘ Rotli Shaak’ and you say
‘Ruddy brillaint rains, Hot hot road side vada pav’!!
Munch up, Have one in each hand and keep at it till
your full tank touches the oesophagus mark!!

We have a brain, a desire why not point in the spirits
directions rather than pondering over ‘this or that’!
Have heart, will follow ! End of topic !

Moral of the story: There are no morals, Only ‘aatma’ :P lol
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was born to run, I was born to dream, The craziest boy you ever seen,
I gotta do it my way - Loverboy

Karma!

2009-05-08T19:31:00.025+01:00

Like the great and famous Justin timberlake said in one of his
master pieces ‘ What goes around always comes around’ :P
This rant is about forces of nature, the superpower which puts
‘Captain Planet’ to shame, the entity which always gets back to
the evil, without the ‘affected’ battering an eye lid.

Superman, Batman, Swat Kats and humyum ..;) :P
all come together and make Justin Timberlake seem like the

almighty messenger who's words should be inked in gold.!

Karma states that you shed one tear of the innocent or the
good and be ready for a good 100 more in return.
Its like u ll get shot, but the opposite monkey will get a

bazooka up his behind.

Game- I ll be your friend only if you are a commendable

creature. Take the bullet and wait for the bazooka. You

don’t have to fire, just desire.

Because George Bush put tons of Stinger behind Osama’s ass

and Laden hated the fact and wished Uncle Sam should get a

dose of karma.. Tough luck Osa, Wont work.
Osama will still be 'Born Trouble' and Bush will still be the

'Master of Disaster'!..Cool nicks eh..\m/

Everything has a flip side, a catch and there is a gay one here too.

U think someone needs to be taught a lesson, you take the bat in

your hand and waste the guy/gal yourself. Tough nuts.

You end up making karma your foe even though the opposite

mortal is a needle dick.

Thearpy - Wait and watch, Let nature and rest of the platoon

do its thing. IT ALWAYS WILL!! Personal experience included.
Depending on acts, deeds, the reprimand will be calculated and
for a grave sinner a master of all punishment is awarded.

ITS CALLED 'LIFE'

Karma is that unseen and unknown law which adjusts wisely,
intelligently and equitably each effect to its cause, tracing

the latter back to its producer. Sow an act, and you will reap

a habit. Sow a habit, and you will reap a destiny.

Its the one running all the dark ponies out here.

It silently says ‘I am gonna smoke you chickenshit'!
Aye Aye Sergeant!

So all you goody good two shoes out there, don’t fret,

don’t pick up the sword.!

You have friends, invisible friends, they go towards the

kill like stains on mattress and are they 6/6 or what!!

------------------------------------------------------------------

This dude is my Kevin Costner, he is gonna beat your ass - Crank

Turbo Lover!

2009-04-17T05:03:00.010+01:00

A Prayer First
Thank you lord for providing us with Direct port nitrous

injection, Four core intercoolers, Ball bearing Turbos

and Titatinum valve springs !
Amen

Smooth Easy Ride,
We’r jus gonna glide,
Shifting Gears, Surge and Tide,
Velocity, Acceleration, Our side!

Power, torque, ground,
Ola speed of sound!
Blur Vision,Love found,
Turbo Whistle, Smoke surround!

Pistons surging up, down!
Cams, cranks turning around,
Engine, A perfect friend!
For it goes on till the end!

Brakes Fading, Metallica raiding,
Fear Staring, Tyres Tearing!
Nirvana, Heaven defined to the T,
Turbo Lover, Yeah me !

---------------------------------------------------

Alright hold on tight..Im a highway star - Deep Purple

Retrospection !

2009-03-29T20:17:00.005+01:00

They brought me love,
I remained silent,
I was a lover.

They came with reasons to smile,
I remained silent,
I was happy.

Then they allured me with a lie,
I remained silent,
I was a believer!

Next they came with deception,
I remained silent,
I was naïve !

Later they whipped me with betrayal,
I remained silent,
I was numb!

In the end they came for me,
I remained silent,
There was nothing left to feel!

------------------------------------------------------------
When everything that felt so right is wrong, Now that the
love is gone - David Guetta

Deviant Art !

2009-03-20T19:47:00.004Z

Recently, Freida Pinto was all over the news for her totally
brilliant ( What ? ) role in Slum Dog Millionaire and her undercover
engagement.

Personally I don’t care a flying fuck to whatever goes in her intricate

life but since sometime my opinion towards film actors/people have

been changing because of some of the things they do/did in their

personal life. This one for instance was going around with this guy

Rohan Antao for years since college…got engaged..got a break in

films…and suddenly realized that she can get better.. she can get

richer guys..she can get famous guys. This guy did not suit her

'oh so hi profile' personality. Simple is not what she wanted now,

low profile is not her taste now. Normal people don’t fit her

criteria now. Slumbitch Loser..Really!

Is love such a shallow thing that it comes and goes with time ?
Does it depend on riches, popularity or both ? Is a partner for
marriage/boyfriend looked upon from his wealth and cars?

Where are the days when honesty in love mattered more than

worldy pleasures ? Where are the days, when love overtook good,

bad and the ugly ? Where are the days when a girl and guy would

promise each other a lifetime of togetherness and mean it ?

Where are the days when sex meant ‘making love’ and not

‘having fun’ ?

And all I would hear after all this is, be practical Rohan, grow up

and a lecture on what money can do.

Money can feed you, can give you all the swank you want, BUT i ll
always leave you hungry for love. Money cannot buy you an
affectionate touch, a peck on your cheeks minus conditions apply

Maybe this is old fashioned, but hey why believe in Bible, Bhagwat
Geeta or the Quaran when they are way older than this rant about

love? Start with devious things outside and try and wash the trash

inside a temple/church/mosque ?
He ll surely listen, listen to your prayers….In your dreams :P

I am glad i am not part of this 'dirty' meaning of love, I am glad
I have values that will put a billionaire to shame and I am glad
I could never be pinned down by guilt which is directly proportional
to 'I am not player'.

Love is divine and thats the only meaning which registers in my dictionary!
And for all those ' i ve had 15 relationships till now' wonders,

GO GET A LIFE!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The host is pathetic, The show is pathetic, The audience is pathetic, I am going home - Coldplay

Paradise !

2009-03-08T20:11:00.000Z

Sit right next to me,
and over the clouds, the car flies,
we touch the heaven!
we feel the divine!
we reach where our hearts reside

I look into your eyes, you look into mine,
what good can food or place do,
when we witness the whole paradise.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes she's hot, sometimes i am cold ..but when i think about it ..
i am so in love with her ..every other time - LFO

In My Shell !

2009-03-02T16:42:00.000Z

The days I've spent, nights I ve passed,
In my solace, in my trance,
Wonder they, why I'm so quiet as if dreaming,
But beneath the blank stare my whole soul is screaming.

I'm tense, I shrink back and shut everyone out,
While another part of me is pounding to get out.
I ve no one to tell,
Trapped in my shell.

Pushed I was, with a motion so slow,
Fell into this pit, a mighty blow,
Someone show me the vent, the road,
Blow the locks, lets explode!

Running away, endless nights,
My shell, leaves me great bites,
Stuck in a well,
This is my shell.

Question myself, why this hell ?
Question myself, why this spell ?
Still crawling, in this cell,
Introducing me, this is my shell!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Will I be crucified for wanting to believe?...I believe - Poets of the fall

Eraser.

2009-02-24T13:03:00.002Z

Rewind 4 years…Enter DC++ ..Enter Erasers Den..

Enter Rich collections..Enter Raj Bhanushali..

Eraser aka Raj aka married :P lol :P

Elder brother, Advice mystro, THE best friend minus

any photoshopping.

Always been there, always will be there…Guran fuckin tee.
He is the only entity in this whole wide world with whom I

never watch my words before I talk, never think twice

before or after saying something. The only unit to have

never mentioned anything close to ‘what else’ out of

boredom when I bombarded him with the same

question/answers for more than a year on end.

Truely seperates you from the rest

Reclamation, Hiranandani, Mahabaleshwar, Pubs,

Beers, Drives,Partners in crime. Yeah I know ‘u ll call

my mom, u ll call my dad, u ll fuckin rape my happiness

bla bla fuckin bla ..lol lol..!!!

A radar in disguise, will foresee disaster before its

happening and will warn warn warn but the ‘troubles

are tools of growth’ mentality that I have,will never pay

heed and ultimately get a ‘ I told you before, not to get

into this’ reaction.. yeah yeah ‘Laaliya’

Evenings would be dumb, life would be boring and sanity

would be absent, movie downloads would come to a standstill,

‘roxx’ would never be used, ‘hello, how are you today’ <---rofl :P

would mean just a boring phrase and 'tatya' would resemble a

dungeon

No one can take your place, and no one ever will :)

Ps: Today 8 o clock ?? ya ya ya :P

---------------------------------------------------------------------

We'r bringing sexy back..yeah!! - Justin Timberlake

Dont Know!

2009-02-11T12:31:00.000Z

I don’t know what I want,
Controlled insanity,
Or let dreams die.

I don’t know what I want,
A girlfriend, Car,
Or my rules, I defy.

I don’t know what I want,
An unsinkable truth,
Or a happy lie.

I don’t know what I want,
Fall down, get bruised,
Or sit tight, not cry.

I don’t know what I want,
Love, friendship,
Or both at a try.

I don’t know what I want,
Winner to the masses,
Or ace in my eye.

I don’t know, what I want,
Metallica, Nirvana,
Or give Linkin park a try.

I don’t know what I want,
I am happy with what I don’t,
Enjoy, chuck whatever and why.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low? Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low? - Nirvana

Press Start!

2009-01-30T08:50:00.000Z

In a moment, everything can change,
Wind, Tide or anyone’s way,
Feel the breath of your laughter,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your essence?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control?

Stop racing,
Stop chasing,
Start believing,
Start reliving.

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A righteous man, before me stands, a hero in these filthy lands - Righteous Kill

Love it !!

2009-01-13T14:39:00.000Z

Love it when you talk to me,
love it when you smile,
love the feeling of we being we,
It even makes me rhyme.

Love it when we have a brawl,
love it when we choose to ignore,
love it when it all ends in a day,
Like what we fought for was so gay.

Love it when you call yourself retarded,
love it when u back it up with facts,
love it when you show your true self,
Like ‘accept me’ or ‘go die’.

Love it when you drive the drives,
Love it when you bring the smiles,
Love it when you stand behind,
In happy, gloom and all the time!

Love it we think about the yesterdays,
Love it when we wonder ‘when' and ‘how’ ?!
Love it when I think it was meant to be,
Like always and anyhow!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whoever said progress was a slow process wasnt talkin' about me - 50 cents

Tora Tora Tora!!

2008-12-22T16:00:00.003Z

Firstly..Let me vent
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

FINALLY FINALLY after a lot of ‘I ll send your showrooms address

to the LET’s violence wing’ threats they chickened out and promised

to deliver the monster.

We hardly slept the night before, the scene at home was like I was

getting married..Reached the stock yard which was in Vasai and a

good 2 hours away from our roof.

And there she was..wrapped in ribbons and smiling wide waiting to

unleash. Jumped inside and wanted to get on the road asap, but

mom was like ‘pooja karvi joiye pela’.Every second seemed like

less of road time..I pushed and pulled her inside to get it done

with asap.

On the road,I could hardly wait for the 2000 rpm..I had waited for

this day since god knows when and now it is finally here. I had such

a huge smile on my face that my dad was of the opinion I ll be

arrested for mental retardness:P

And there comes 2000 rpm..turbo spooled ready for initiation

Mayday..Mayday..!!

Holding on to whatever she could to stay in one place, a gear

down and again 2000, again a twister.
Mom, why so serious ? WHHY SOOO SERIOUS ? Lets put a

smile on that face!! With a scared look she yelled “ You and

your turbo can rotate after I m gone”

Mount Mary..next stop..again..mommy darlings wishy wishy..!!

But the best part about going to Mount Mary is you have to pass

through reclamation.

Notice a Verna Crdi tailgating our Swift at recli

Whiplash One…Bogie Spotted..!!

I am staring at one right now and its gonna be smoked to kingdom

come!!

You are clear to engage…

2000…

Whipash one just went super sonic.

Turn at recli..Sticks to mother earth like a vacuum cleaner..

holds her guns, the roar from the the turbo..the exhaust note..

the adreline..momentum...blur vision…and a smoked verna :P

120,140.160..170.........Bogie has been handled!!

In my less powerful days I would show the left indicator, let it pass

and say ‘ Respect’ because that’s a ruddy powerful beast, but now

the respected just lost its respect.

This is like gold standard of ass kicking.
Some more retarded teeth \m/

The entire scene was right out of my dream, I ve gone through

this drill a million times mentally and now the real thing is exact

to the ‘T’. Rest pray for dear life at Mount Mary and I pray for

the turbos health. How everyones wants in life are different..:P

I am not a fan of big things making it big, they are meant to,

Small things with big potential is something I would go for,

hence we ve decided to name her ‘BIG deal’

BIG deal Rohan Lakhlani.!!! ;).

Aninya --> meraswiftmeraswiftmeraswiftmeraswiftmeraswift :P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We will we will rock you...we gonna rock we gonna rock you baby..we will we will rock you YEAH..waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa – Five

Tick Tick Boom !

2008-12-16T21:01:00.000Z

Anger + Hate can be a lethal combination, can destroy
the most smart of human beings but also can make you self
sufficient with reinforced titanium balls if you channelise it in
the right direction.

I am a self content, non forgiving, ‘fuck everyone, I am my
own company’ dork who can read between every sentence, line
or word that comes out of anything which can talk and the fact is
I hate it. It makes me judge 99% of lifeforms as selfish and I
all the more resent the fact that I am selfless.

A small conversation with someone and the next instant I know if
this is a celebrity I want to be friends with or nada and there are
no 3 strikes which in my hay years would declare anyone ‘not out’
even when stumps would reach the boundry line.

Looking back a year and half, I was naïve, lacked tact,
understanding of inhabitants, read between the line glasses,
heck I would believe every word whoever said with a
thought that ‘people don’t lie’ and this was because I had
never seen or heard of complications, distress or liar liar
pants on fire. It was filled with ‘he he’ and ‘ha ha’.
I would sleep at night like a baby without a single negative
though or thorn pricking my senses.

Do I like the new me ? Well its hard to tell..The old me was
like grass which anyone could trample but he never got
trampled because he never realized whenever he did.

And the new me is like mount fujiyama which even a dino
cant think about pulling down and whenever its attempted
a one way ticket to grave is instantly furnished minus any
though of consequence. People are scared and most days
I take that as a compliment. Grass is never green on the
other side. I have optimism as a forcefield minus a rear
view mirror.

I miss my incessant laughter, I miss my innocence which
I had to forgo to give the world a taste of its own medicine,
just that the dosage got a bit overpowering, Never the less
absolute power is fun.
Scans, exterminates with eyes steady as a statue.
Will do what I was trained to do, what I was bred to do,
WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO. Build cars..Race Cars!!
End of Story.

At 21 I was actually 16 and at 22 I am bordering 25 .
One small step for man, One giant warning for mankind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beneath this mask there is more than flesh..Beneath this mask there is
an idea Mr Creedy and ideas are bulletproof - V for Vendetta

Terror Error

2008-11-27T04:23:00.000Z

Some super religious retards like always have done what they are best at...'DHAI DHAI'!!
They have like a Seagate 7200 rpm 500 GB Hard disk and remember
things way beyond normal human competence.
‘Hamare Baccho ko maara’, ‘Biwiyo ko maara’ (notice the plural)..uska kya?
Reporter kept quite, instead of being like
‘Tune itne bomb daala’, ‘Tumne hamari ek hi ek biwi ko maara’..uska kya?
Reporter: Tum kitne log ho ander ?
Terrorists: Aing..Woh hum tumhe kyooo bataae ?
Smart Smart..u should not tell to longen your live by some minutes

Reporter: Tum inte logo ki ladai lad rahe ho atleast itna toh batao
kitne aaadmi ho tum ?
Sounds like Gabbar but whatever he wants his aadmis..
Terrorits: Hum 7 aadmi hai!
WHAT ? HE FELL FOR THIS ONE ?He is like the worst terrorist I have
ever heard of..yeah heard of..i cant see them..i don’t work at band camp.

And the best part, one in case of the reporter and ‘N’ in case of the
terrorists would be sitting at home and clapping
‘Mera saaiya tv pe..mera saaiya tv pe’

All big cock talks, Since he was ‘dying’ to make a difference why
not abolish the hindu muslim enemity in the first place rather
than holding innocent civilians hostage?
And were his demands or what?
‘Hamare saare mujahadin bhai ko pura india se chod do, Kashmir pe
se army ko hatva do!!
Even the army men and police guys must be rolling on the floor
laughing at this.
Yes yes, America pe hamlva karva do, America capture karva do,
Petrol free karva do ,Al- Qaeda ko leadership dilva do?
I guess he got his tongue serviced before going on this ‘I want this and I want that’ spree

Seriously guys get some training done..some real serious training
done before even thinking about being a terrorist and before
u are shot please please mention the ‘institute’ where u got this
'gyaan' from..further candidates will avoid this place for all times.

U kill people..U ll get shot.. Aint no ‘Allah’ coming with a heli to bail your asses.
Should have chilled out and watched Tv at home.

May your ‘fanatic’ souls rest in ‘PIECES’..and lots of them..

Happy ‘dhai dhai’...Will be your last..guran fuckin teed..!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heroes never die.... They just reload - Rambo 4

Birthday Bumps!!

2008-11-24T21:22:00.000Z

Firstly, WHO WAS THE ONE THROWING ATTITUDE??
Secondly: 8 on 2 is not a fair fight..Not my fault:P
Thirdly: You get the birthday gift you asked for!!!
Finally: D5 what ? come again..!! ha ha !!

Thank you for all the birthday treats u have thrown and will throw.
Eagerly wait for 25th November every year in anticipation of
your bashes.
Your Truly,
Sarcasm.

For the unknows..Its Abhilasha’s birthday today and she is throwing a party at Chacha’s Tea Stall, Cheddanagar. Everyone is invited, dress code being chapplis ,bermudas and nadas.
Gifts Compulsory..Spread the word.

May we rock the swift’s, zen’s ,roads, metallica and floyds like always with stealth and speed...
Happy Birthday Abybabyattitude..

Aftermath!

2008-11-17T18:15:00.000Z

When the world was a silent dream,
Stop this mayhem, No one screamed!
Worry not, it’s an ending treat,
Of a story not so sweet!

When god was busy writing his own lyrical,
Never heard or thought of me,
Fear or Stop I dint,
And made my own miracle.

Made friends with my goals,
One Aim, Make it roll,
Made treaty with the devil,
Dare not come near my soul.

Through evil and ugly I surpass,
Take all with a straight face and smile!
I am the star of tomorrow,
Who’s present and past is hollow.

Resurrect my world, twinkle in my eye,
With the idea of a selfless lie,
Doomed the larger fishes be,
For providence is the almighty.

After years everyone will see,
Of what they have rubbed,
Was a diamond in the making,
Shining with a mighty glee.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everytime we're down, you can make it right, thats what makes u larger than life - Backstreet Boys

I'll Rise

2008-11-06T05:47:00.000Z

You may kill me from inside,
With your fake incessant cries,
You may think I m still in the dirt,
But still like dust, I ll rise.

Does my happiness kill you ?
Why are u upset and gloom?
I walk like I ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like nights and days,
Certainty arise,
Like hopes springing high.
I ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Forever lies, Total disguise
Soul Sacrifice,
You may cut me with your eyes,
But still like air, I'll rise.

Does my smile offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard.
Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

Look into my eyes!!!
I am a black ocean, leaping and wide!
You may tear me with your force!
But still like waves, I ll rise.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There I go, Playing star again, There I go, Up On the the Stage, There I Go, Turn the page - Metallica

Dreams @ 2000 rpm

2008-11-04T19:03:00.000Z

Get ready boy..we are going shopping!!
Left, right..straight..U turn..!!!
Err..!!Here…Why ?
U ll know why..!!

Lady: oh we spoke over the phone..!!I ll be done.
Me: DAD,DONE WHAT ? Are we buying this showroom ?
Dad: White babe, ready to be unleashed in 20 days..!!wow!!
Me: U don’t get porn here..!!!
Dad: This will satisfy all your hormones..believe you me..!!

There are some things in life u dream about, U imagine yourself in the dream, U are the star, U have a star and when it is all coming true u just cant believe the fact that it is. Its like ‘ oh shit, for real..and how ? Is this a dream ? Pinch, Punch, No Poof. ITS NOT A DREAM.

A White Swift DDIS, Reclamation. Mash the Throttle..Turbo Spools at 2000 rpm and you are stuck to the seat, The world around appears blur, Speedo climbs like there is no tomorrow, The turn approaches, Tyres howl and cry..U want more..Inch the right foot to the floor,Lunges forward with Vengence, ..Overdrive..Turbo again.. hang on for dear life..Pure bliss..Its not how far u can push her..Its about how far u can push yourself to push her.
The road ends with a U turn..
U want more..U will always want more..Till there is life in you, This cycle will keep repeating.
U will wake up in the middle of the night just to check if this babe is actually for real, U'll admire her for hours.
If u have to leave her alone for sometime..u ll actually call home and check if she is fine or no.

There is more to life than girlfriends, coffee shops and rooftops and this is reason enough for me to wake up everyday with a smile. The rain and my swift..thats all i ll ever need.
Next time u find me singing ‘ let me see you get wild tonight’ and don’t find any reference to context, U know what to look out for !!!

Smiling Wide,Bleaming White,
Come She will,What a Sight,
Cross the Days, Wait the Hours,
Dreams coming true, Out of the blue,

Before it was an endless wait and now 20 days seem like eternity.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come my lady, come come my lady, you're my butterfly..Sugar baby - Crazy Town

Phone Call Resurrected ( Spoof )

2008-10-15T12:07:00.003+01:00

Original @ Click Here

25th September,2005
1:30 PM.
Snoring.
CellPhone rings. Main hoon kaun..main hoon don..lamba don..

patla don..don don don

I somehow try and grab the phone, but without glasses I end

up picking the lappy ;)

Frantically search the phone,

Pappu Pager calling,

A: I ll reconfirm with glasses.

Private Number calling.

A: itna hi privacy chahiye toh call kahe kiyo?
X: Heylo is this Abhilasha?
A: Oriflame order after 2 pm, till then office Is closed.
X: Is this Abhilasha Dafria ?
A: This is Tambi and I m busy ..TADAK..!!

Darn these beauty conscious morons, its 1:30 PM

and they are worried about beauty :|

1:40 PM
Phone rings again.
Pappu Pager calling:
A: Cuts the call,
Pappu Pager Calling:
A: *Frustrated*, One more call and I ll fuck your happiness

on my blog.

X: *Rolls on the floor laughing and hangs up*

1:45 PM
Main hoon kaun, main hoon gone, watching porn..

DON DON DON!!

A: Bako
X: Mane Bolneka Mauka toh diyo zara.
A: Mane Pehle bataiyo Kaun hai tuu ?
X: Shubh Chintak.
A: Please pray kariyo I become an even bigger wannabe

in some years.TADAK.

Again

A: Face wash: 350, Shampoo: 100, Lip gloss: 200, Mascara: 400

bla bla fuckin bla
X: Am I talking to Abhilasha ?
A: I am Abhilasha’s split personality
X: You are half anyway, and in that also split?like 1/2 of 1/2??1/4??
A: Zonked eh...uh...e...sff..gsdjfd......WHATTTTTTT?!??
X: 1/2 of 1/2 is 1/4... dont worry dont cry....check it on

the calculator
A: *checks on calci*..Who are you ??
X: I am a spy from IIM Chembur.
A: Hair Colour for 350, Black lipstick for 200, with this people

wont recognize you.

X: Your ex best friend is a porn star.
A: Goody goody, she ll need make up too..i ll call her asap.TADAK.

Never after this day I received his call, I don’t know who he was,

I still don’t. In the above conversation u can see he has only tried

to help me expand my business, I eagerly waited for his call, but

I guess none of my other friends turn out to be porn stars*sigh*

Today when I turn back the pages of my diary to 25th September

2005, my heart skips a beat. She was buying make up from other

people all this while while i was searching for business all over

chembur. I cant even contemplate what would have happened

to me if he had not called, I would have never got the opportunity

to confront her and make her buy all the make up from me.

He saved me ,he saved my business, I dint even get a chance to

thank him, give him a lipstick for free. That one phonecall bobbed

up enough curiosity in me to fill the forms for IIM chembur.

Imagine IIM Chembur. That one phonecall stopped me from

falling into a quicksand of complicated numbers, adding

subtracting and no return.That one phonecall taught me that

one fraction when multiplied with itself reduces its value....

that fractions CAN be multiplied.

That one phone call changed things forever and i dont know

whether or not the calculator was used.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man, that was like level 12 of Doom – Wild Hogs.

Newton, God and ME!!!

2008-09-02T08:20:00.005+01:00

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction was

a law Newton came up with, and boy o boy I am lovin it!!!

You hit the tyre on a curb it blows, no two ways about it .
You tell your dad you smoke and instantly a pack of

ciggis.... j/k j/k !!:P

Ahem ahem now the human touch.
U play games, you ‘try’ and spoil someone’s life, u act like a

bitch possessed, and that’s when my friends Newton and

God step in.

Newton makes sure the equal and opposite thingy comes

true and GOD makes sure the opposite thingy is multiplied

by 10, they join forces, they scheme, implement *GRIN*

Next day I see GOD and this is how it goes!!

G: Wassa fellaw..!! happy ?
R: Yo man..Bombs away eh !!!
G: Supreme me , don’t worry, you have unlimited wishes
R: Jeez thanks!! Anything in return ?
G: Ye one, Lets headbang together..MUSIC..ACTION..!!!

Bang bang goes the broken glass man,
Kill all the fags that don't agree!
Trial by fire, setting fire
It's not a way that's meant for me
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!

Newton appears out of nowhere and all 3 headbang!!

I Beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies,
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives,
This is our lives....
On Holiday!

People..!!Can i get another Amen ??!!

Newton and God in Chorus: RELOADING!!!!!
\m/ \m/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hate to be the materialistic weasel of the group, but do I get hazard pay

for this? - Armageddon

THIS MEANS WAR!!!

2008-08-03T08:31:00.004+01:00

You are dejected by life, you curse yourself, you want a solution,

you want everything around to look beautiful like before.

You are surfing the net, you download gothic metal, rock..

pump the volume and find peace within.

Then u come across this song titled ‘THIS MEANS WAR' by

BUSTA RHYMES featuring Ozzy Osbourne you like the title,

you can relate to the title. Download and ‘PLAY’

U can so relate to each and every paragraph that guy sings, you

start feeling good, you start feelin like this REALLY MEANS WAR.

Repeat mode, a million plays and 2 months later you look at the

graph. This is a new you, confident with a ‘don’t mess with me

look’. You start loving the new you. No one looks at you like a

sentimental fool, you can so handle everything, everyone and

anyone in life.

You feel like blowing everythin to kingdom come and not even

burp. The confidence is showing on your face. Failures don’t

affect you and success does not seem too big a term.

Everything is accepted in a calm and composed manner.

Now you know how to walk into something and walk out of it

too.

Whats with this new me ?

This new me is because of this one song, yeah sounds weird

but this song has really made my days and continues to do so.

Hail Busta Rhymes, Hail Ozzy Ozbourne.!!! \m/ \m/

Take a look inside
You can run and you can hide
If you cross my path
I ll make sure u feel my wrath
Give and you recieve
Cherish every breath you breath
Scriptures on the wall
Those who betray all must fall

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard

die for his - General George Patton

Shift !!! Shift!! Shift!!

2008-07-04T20:11:00.000+01:00

I would like a test drive please.
Suer sir,I ll send a representative over,have a sheat
Innervoice: Sheat??Shit??Seat?? Bloody mallus
“Ogay sir, Shald we go?”
Innervoice: O gay? :O No way. If I din love this car so much, I would SRED your tongue to pieces.
This car has climate control, ayer bags,alloyds, x’s , y’s and z’s
Sir shift…supposedly pointing towards some building at cheddanagar
Me: no dude aint plannint to shift there
He: ‘SHIFT’
Me: clutch,upshift,clutch,downshift ..happy?
He: ‘SHIFT SHIFT SHIFT’
Me: Dude u need to reboot,wheres your restart button?
He: SHIFT SHIFT
Me: okay okay now calm down, u love this car too but this is my test drive and I aint shiftin!!!:
He: SHIFT !!!!!!!!!!!

Me: ya ya u convinced me,I ll shift.Get over here
He: SHIFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Me: &%#@!@$%$

At the showroom
"how did u like the shift ? we saw so many shifts on theh way too, Shells in gud numbers u she”
Oh mi god.I should have known
Ile kome backe to you with my dead ogai.
With a grin as if he received a new admission in mallu land
“ogai sir ogai sir’

Tading: The empire can strike back :):)

Attached!

2008-06-09T15:51:00.000+01:00

Attached to the car,
Attached to its feel,
Everythin in it seems humanly real.

Attached to the expressway,
Surfing like the lightning rays,
Gone in sixty seconds would be the phrase,
160 would be the pace.

Attached to the times,
Attached to the smiles,
Which, now are a cause of tears in my eyes.

Attached to the ale,
Attached to the dame,
How drunk was I when I played that funny frame!?

Attached to the moon,
Attached to the stars,
Which used to accompany me through all my wars.

I am no more attached,
I am no more sad,
In the end ‘I am me’ and nothing exists like it ever had
------------------------------------------------------------------

Veni, vidi, vici - Julius Caesar

Whip the zip!!!

2008-05-15T18:55:00.000+01:00

Ironing my shirt, yayayaaya I m going to a pub after long,
“Almost done,get down”
“okay I ll be there in 5 min”
On with my shirt and jeans i start wearin my shoes.
Mom knows, I many a times forget to zip.
Are your zips up or should I call u ‘ever ready’?
Shucks,I forgot again.
I try to up it,@$%% the clip is stuck in the seam of the zip
Scissor,hammer and 25 min later up she goes.
I look at my cell.25 missed calls,Darn I m dead.
Go below her building, she comes running towards the car.
Oh no,this is not the I missed u kinda run. Gets inside.
U fucking moron, did u pause your clock for this long?
‘Sorry ,zip got stuck,had a hard time upping it’
ROHAN u suck, could u not find a better excuse or jeans with better zips?
These are my fav jeans, and the zip din know u were waiting!!!
Thank god for music systems,I can hardly hear her.yayayaya
Some of it gets filtered though ,limpbizkit feat priyanka
‘I know why u want to hate me, Once more u glu glu
I know why u want to hate me, I m totally pissed glu glu
Coz hate is all the world,that’s ever seen lately, I ll leave the next time glu glu
She gives up and limbizkit takes over

Sports bar, cheers and down some beers.
Listen, I got to pee..!!i ll be back.
I forget all about the zipper and once I m done,I try to up it
DAMN,it just wont go.I try everythin but minus any tools it wont budge
I remove my tucked in shirt,
Short shirt!!!!Today is just not my day :
Everyone entering the loo is laughing,some realize the problem and
some misjudge.
This is embarrassing,one guy comes forward to help.
Some more misjudgments later,finally it ups.
I go,Look at her, she is as ready as a kalashnikova
Zip got stuck,sorry.
I m leaving, u cant find better excuses and u managed to ruin my day.
Glu glu glu glu glu glu glu..baam vaam,boom
Dj sucks,dj sucks…I can hear all of her.
We leave after sometime, I want to pee pee again but dare I mention
anything below the belt.
Pin drop violence later,I drop her, hear some jazz on how to treat
a girl, I so wanted to apologise but pee pee,how could I,how can I ,I m human!!
Mom: hope u had fun?
For the want of a nail, a horseshow was lost,
For the want of a horse, a message was lost
For the want of an undelivered message,the WAR was lost.
Mom,please buy me new jeans asap.

As i mature!!

2008-05-04T17:45:00.000+01:00

The world is still going to go round,
No one can care less
The ones who want to stay,stay
The ones who don’t want to, go away,
Like a fool I keep waiting,
Then I come to know there is no more wait.
Moved on they have,another guy,another game
Straightforward and truthful I was,sounds insanse
Gullable I was,gullable I will be
Fool I was,fool I wont be
Lesson learnt by experience is a lesson learnt
Mayday mayday,damn I got burnt.
Wait for you forever,YA RIGHT
You are not worth being in my sight
Fool me once,shame on you
Fool me twice,shame on me
Love overtook all my sight.
You said u don’t trust me,
Damn me, I trusted u all along,
You just proved me all wrong
You are the most untrustworthy of them all.

God is watching from up above,
u shall reap what u sow
Reap you will, I shall pray
For you don’t live to see another day.
This aint my anger,this is my hate
Time will get back to u,
You just watch,you just wait.
____________________________________________________________________________

The castles crumbled,
You are left with jus a name,
And you point your finger,
But there's no one around,
Where's your crown, QUEEN NOTHING??
Where's your crown?

Network Problem!!!

2008-05-01T14:14:00.000+01:00

Auntyji: Shweta munna,kidhar hoo aap??
Shoo: mummy ghar ke peeche hi hoon,aati hoon in sometime
Auntyji: I m standing down and comin towards ghar ke peeche.
Shoo: *tears* hohan..gaddi bhagao..!!mummy peeche comin.
Auntyji: me peeche khadi hoon where art thou?
Shoo: mom ..change of location, doggy ran after me so me in thoda galli chod ke
Auntyji: me comin there too wait.
Shoo: HOHAN..!!gaddi udaoooo…!!!
Based on this true story out comes an advertisement of trump/dolphin.
Hamara connection lijiye and gharelu problems se bachiye.Network problem anytime all the time.Ting ting tading..!!

Shoo Shweta teta checha Raghavan..!!

2008-04-25T05:42:00.000+01:00

Good things come in small packagesAnd the best ones come with shweta raghavan written on it!!Co incidence and internet when both came together,we became friends and in no time best friends:)

The transition period was a journey which transformed rohan into hohan and shweta into teta!!
In good times I remember her and in bad ones there are no other options :P
She gives me a reality check whenever i need one.THANKS FOR THAT :D

Online or phoneline,its always a laughter riot.My entire house is with ear plugs on when I m talking to her.
In the words of my mom ‘yaad hoi toh ghar maa bijaa loko pan raiye che’ :D:D
Whenever the going gets tough,orkut is accessed, some senseless stuff exchanged and tough is bajaoed with an aavjo..!!
All in all this is one friend who I cannot live without and is very special to me.
As days pass I m sure the fun factor will keep getting better and better!!
People come and people go,but this is one girl who I will always want to stay.

Tan tana tan tan tan taara..tere liye pura blog likh daala..!!!;)

PS: I still know why your stomach aces!!!LOL

The Next Episode!!!

2008-04-23T06:41:00.000+01:00

Money minded and me..nope..!!
I don’t want more money,I want enough money!!.
When my son grows up and asks for a cayenne he should not think I m not the man.!!
When my wife asks for a dress I should not be in distress..!!

All this was planned by my dad too,but out came a son who ended up asking for a swift!!
A wife who was happy with a dinner and a movie.

But hey dad,we gonna rock it till the wheels fall off..!!
Hold up eh..!!Take a seat!!!Hope you ready for the next episode.!!
Heeeeyyyyy..!!!u ll need weed everyday..!!!

Ps: This warning is issued in public interest for people concerned.

Good guy vs tailpipe emissions

2008-04-20T16:31:00.000+01:00

At king circle bus stop.

She: Are u single
Me: Do u own a merc?
She: Yes i do
Me: I am not talking about what u call a merc.
She: yeah real merc it is.
Me: bus stop?? Let me guess, mika hakkinen has taken it for a drive?
She: I believe in not contributing to the noise pollution, air pollution, congestion, deteroration of mother earth @%!@!%#%@!$T^
Me: I believe in pressure horns, freeflows, loud mufflers, redline launches, Burnouts, rich air/fuel mixtures, V12s, 5 kmpl @!2%@!
She: opposites attract?
Me: for a lady ownin a merc I ll change my polarity.Lets get married:D
She: What if I say I own a Honda city?
Me: Lets go around
She: Swift?
Me: lets be friends
She:Alto?
Me:Fuck off.I m commited.

Moral of the story: I am downright cheap,and she owns an alto :P:P

War of the Worlds

2008-04-18T08:11:00.001+01:00

Dad is yellin from the bathroom “Bank closes at 2 o clock” Darn its 1:50.

Grab the car keys,run down and witness a site which makes me sing the angry version of ‘Who let the dogs out’ !#%^$# %@#@$
That son of a bitch (never knew profanity could get this meaningful) is sleepin on the hood of my car!!!

Get a stick and push him down amid some resistance from the doggy world.
Who would like being thrown out of their bed anyway?.Get on with my work

Starin at the full moon outside,cool breeze,one look down and I see half a hood.
WHAT AGAIN!!!!!

Now this is turning out to be a game of cat and mouse.

Wake up the next morning,quietly proceed towards the car with the mouse sleeping.
As I near him the hunter gets hunted.

Since when did dogs think about having watch dogs??

Soldier 2 arrives all guns about to attack.I freeze.2 on 1 is not a fair game.

Soldier 1 gets up and is ready,steady..just has to hear a PO..!!

I quietly back off. The mutts have their heads high and get back on my hood. !@#$$%#
The question is how can a Nepal win over an India?

To answer this question China comes to the rescue.Marksman2004 :D

Single shot ,480 feet per second,plastic pellets.

Next morning I look down and the scenario hasn’t changed, but I have an evilish tinge in my eye.

Police officer style I shout.UNFREEZE,Move your body.

Out comes the watch dog,I say ‘that means u too retard’

He looks at the gun with a ??? look.One more step and the ??? will be ??? no more

Seems like he in a lot of girly company these days,his ??? gets the better of him

BOOM,BOOM.Both of them singin the nasal himesh way with their butts visible and slowly turning into dots.

Victory!!!HURRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Get back home with a sense of my meaningful existence ,chest upfront.

Next morning,with a sense of pride I stand in the balcony,look down to see my captured hood.

WTF

Its no more captured,its reinstated by enemy forces.
Marksman 2004,himesh,small dot,Marksman 2004,himesh,small dot…..raised to 20

Some days later,neighbour calls “ Dog is shitting near my car please fire some rounds”

Realising that situation could get out of hand and himesh could start shitting on my territory I decide to abandon shitt..!!ship I mean.!!

If u cant win them, get them on your side and that is exactly what I do

Get a small blanket,park it on the hood.

I m happy,my hood is happy,enemy is happy.

As for the watchdog,lets just say he was fired..!!!

Peace is restored in paradise,Everytime I try to catch the cool breeze I make it a point to look down and praise myself.Maybe I should have been a politician but such is life dearies.:)