Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Mayhem To Mongolia !

Many Many years ago, when I was an unborn terror me dad had
this dream of driving down from India to London in a car.
AIN'T NO TYPO. INDIA TO LONDON, YEAH but he never could.
Priorities, wife, business, X, Y, Zee and than me. Now at 55,
he can only dream of this havoc, but sharing the same genes,
had a similar bright idea since was 5.

A cross country trip between continents, countries, around half
the world in a car. Landing in UK for engineering slowly made
all the pieces of the puzzle come together. This is destiny’s way
of making sure that I don’t grow old to regret. Mongol Rally
came into my life, it made sure that I had something to look
forward to other than books and a shitty job. Started planning,
day dreaming, e-mailing people, getting into the technicalities
and finally finding someone who was as suicidal to participate
together as a team mate..

IMAGINE passing through 15 to 17 countries, Imagine driving through
Kyrgyzstan, Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan etc to name a
few, some of these have no resemblance of a civilisation, some have
no roads, barren deserts, some plagued with civil war and most which
have terrorism as a way of life .

Freezing in Ukraine, sipping vodka with the Russian's, downing
cognac with the Kazak's, inhaling chillam's with the Uzbek's
and finally beer with the Mongol's.
My Life be Like Ooo Aaah !!!

YOU KNOW the distance of the rally is greater than what the
miles between UK to India is. 16 thousand kilometres of pure
crouching kitten, hidden hippo kinda adventure \m/

Doing this might be a one way ticket to hell, maybe break hands,
legs, get shot at, but maybe's in life are always more of a positive
than a dud. To make it even more difficult the rules of the rally
state that you have to participate in a small Maruti Zen or Santro
type small ‘hatch back’ or anything which is less than 1200 cc,
which in short means 'tighten the nada of your pyjamas' as this
aint going to be easy in wheels which are totally todally unsuitable
for the grim task ahead, but anyway life without excitement is a
waste of oxygen!!!

London To Mongolia, We'r on, Like Donkey Kong. Screw the peril.
Paid 200 pounds as a deposit to register for the rally. A secret
parents don’t know and won’t know till the D day is near my nose.
July 2011. Time to go still, a car to buy.

Told dad about the rally just as a passing conversation over the
phone and his instant reaction.
‘ Aava sapna pan nai joto’ :P

My man does not know that am already on it, making ends meet to
be among the group of people who are as inclined to test life as i've
always been. Sorry Dad, I don’t take 'NO' for an answer :P

There is something called as 'the edge'. A picture with the car and
me standing next to a board which reads ‘Ulanbaatar, Mongolia’ is
a fantasy going to be conquered by hook or crook. By crook would
be to just photoshop one, but that’s one sad idea sirji!

Just living my life..hey a hey a hey a..my life..my life my life..just living
my life - Rihaana

Sunday, 31 January 2010

Drag Me To Hell !!

YOU KNOW, I love the history of religion and the idea of 'Hell' got
me mind thinking!

I bet its one big party, with Kegs, Beer, Paneer Tikka, Gudam
Garam, Heavy metal and the likes and I bet Satan is a really
nice guy.

Think about it.

You Sin against "God" and denounce 'Jesus' 'Allah', 'Shankar',
'Ehsaan' 'Loy', 'Hanuman' and the types, also you do these
terrible things like raid, pillage, plunder, murder, rape and pilfer
your guts out and so you are sent to Hell !

WHY WOULD SATAN PUNISH you for doing the same
thing he’s tryin to do himself ??

He HATES God, he's at total war with that guy !!
If you end up in hell obviously have done something bad.
Satan will greet you with some beer and say "Man, you are
so cool, helping me out and shit, here's a Heineken, Cheers!"

Hell is one cool place, with pool tables, Spa's, Sauna's and also
Bars that you don't get kicked out from along with all the hot
bitches you can ever think about.
But but you cant be sent to hell until you have decimated your
life. Do deeds now, pay later kinda credit card system. * Sigh *

Where as in Heaven, you can't swear, cant have wicked thoughts,

no sex, you can't do SHIT without pissing off God and rest of the
Holy Moly’s!!
Where as in hell you don't get tired, Ciggis never run
out movies always release when you want them to, porn at free will,
you never sleep too but you can with the females if you want to
which is an awesome thing. :P

Operator: Press # key to buy weed *Vive la Afghanistan* \m/

Good thing I denounced religion, therefore I have sinned and
cast myself into eternal party mode! * Pat me on that *

Dont stop taking drugs cuz they,
Got you flying, forgetting yesterday,
Maybe its crazy, keep getting stoned while you can,
Oh Baby in the lords hands,
You can be whatever you want when your high,
Walk slowly with a spirit by your side, Oh baby,
Dont fear if you lose your mind,
Say how u doing', boy i am feeling fine,
...When something carries me away..hey hey hey hey...

*Tears Of Happiness*

*Hysteria, Headbanging, Bottoms Up*

If God ‘DID’ exist, we would go to Heaven coz we are evil,
so that he can punish us himself and not go ahead and put
us with a party king who would recruit such dope heads
for his own brigade of destruction.

Better to
reign in
Hell than
serve in
Why walk on the stairway to Mr Rule Book when you can drive
down the highway to the Dark Knight ?I implore you to JOIN US!
Leave behind the confines of your manufactured religions that
blind you and deny you the malted truth. Crack open a beer,
down it, crack open another, down that one too ! Drink to
your heart's content. Let the alcohol rid you of all worries
and lead you down new paths of enlightenment.
Satan does it, so should you AND should you over do it,
have faith, Satan shall be too drunk to know who messed
his yard up..DOH!

Butt in and lets have a TIME OF A DEAD TIME !!

Ps: Posers, Wankers, Delusional Retards, Druggies, Gangsta Niggas's
will be given first preference based on experience.
Anyhoo seeya at the do..

- All Mighty Recruiters \m/ ( No Branches )

Next time someone disses you to "GO TO HELL", jump out
of joy and get ready to let the dogs out!
Bhooo bhooo !!

And if you are worried that by commenting on these 'con'cepts
of Mr Supreme’s jurisdictions you might just offend him,
then well...tough shit, he gets offended, What can you do ?

PS: This mockery wont stop yours truely from staring above
with a puppy look and asking Captain Planet to pass him in
Solid Mechanics or maybe Advance Vehicle Systems..;)
Maybe the invigilator and my man work like a crew,
though very unlikely but hey life is all about taking
and giving chances eh ;)

Cheers and ‘God Speed’

I ll give you black sensations up and down your spine, If you're evil you're a
friend of mine - AC / DC